Decemberists
by crazy-lou
Summary: A selection of 12 stories outlining 12 events in Kirsten and Sandy's lives. All lyrics by the wonderful and talented band The Decemberists. PLEASE RR
1. Clementine

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, I don't anything here. The characters, the lyrics, the names…anything. Please, don't credit me with anything except the idea and the plot. Now…ONWARD!

**Clementine** "Castaways and Cutouts" 

January 1985:

Sandy stood fidgeting in front of a mirror making ever so subtle adjustments to his tux. Today was to be the perfect day. The weather was perfect, the building was perfect, the fact that his soon-to-be-father-in-law was not present was perfect, so he had to be. While fixing the faux tie that he was wearing, memories of the previous night came floating back to his head: her attempting to cook for him, which didn't turn out well, the strawberries and champagne that was resorted to, her fixing and removing his tie, and him rushing at a frantic pace to escape the confides of his office. Needless to say, the ride home was a quick one all while she sucked his ear lobe building the anticipation. He laughed at the state of their home this morning after last night's events.

_you slept in your overalls _

_after the wrecking ball _

_bereft you of house and home _

_and left you with sweet fuck-all _

_so we got in your car _

_with our kickabout hearts _

_and we hollered out 'sweet clementine'_

"Sandy," his mother scolded. "You're not helping your appearance by all these adjustments. Let me help you fix them."

He was dazed, lost in thought. The response to his mother was a nod, and not fighting back when she approached him and combed his hair, fixed his vest, and tightened his tie.

"Too tight 'Ma," he complained in a flat tone. He was still lost. His thoughts were only on her, and the fact that she was about to become his wife.

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Kirsten sat in one of the back rooms of the building, waiting to get this wedding started. She was ready to have it over with. If it would have been her was, they would have eloped to Las Vegas and not dealt with this whole ceremony. It didn't matter where they got married, how they did it, what they were wearing, or anything like that. She just wanted him and him alone, which she proved last night. A smile crept to her lips as she thought of the look on his face when she showed up at his office, suggesting the spend some quality time together before the state went and interfered with everything. The ceremony thing was a joke to her, but not her parents. They were the only reason she was doing this was them, and her father wasn't even there. She sighed thinking about it.

"What's wrong dear?" her mother questioned.

"It's Dad, why isn't he here again? I mean, I know Sandy doesn't mind that he's not here, but he was one of the only reason why I agreed to go through this whole traditional ceremony thing…"

"You know as well as I know where your father is. He's in Japan, on business, where he has spent most of his time lately."

Kirsten sighed again. He dad meant the world to her, and he wasn't going to be there when another man took over the role of protector for her.

"Come on dear," her mother ushered with a concerned look for her daughter. "They're ready for us."

_tell your mom to marry us _

_a candle to carry us _

_with cans on our bicycle fenders _

_so sweet and hilarious _

_and we'll find us a home _

_built of packaging foam _

_that will be there 'til after we die_

Kirsten walked with her mother, who quickly left her standing in the back to take the trip up the aisle by herself. This part is what she feared. For the past 22 years she has had someone looking out for her, walking by her side. But when it was the most important day of her life. She was walking alone, in the beginning anyways. _'I had better not be walking alone on the way out.'_ She thought.

The music started so did the bridesmaids. It was her turn. Now's the time.

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The people in the large hall clapped and cheered as the happy couple made their way inside. Mr. and Mrs. Sanford Cohen walked to the head table all smiles, mostly because in their minds, the worst part was over. It would be just another day to remember. Hopefully. The decision was still out about that and was influenced by a few factors…the moods of the people around them, the music that was played, if Sandy sand, and most of all, the amount of alcohol the duo consumed.

They took their seats at the front of the room and waited for the meal to begin and the music to start to play. After seeing some plates, Sandy decided it was time to say something. He stood up.

"Can I have everyone's attention please," he spoke on the microphone while the room quieted.

"I would just like to thank all of you for sharing this wonderful day with us. Honestly and hopefully, it is the happiest day of my life, I'm not so sure about Kirsten up here though," the crowd laughed a bit. "Seriously though, thank you all so much for being here, and I know that she'll remember this forever, as will I."

The crowd clapped as Sandy sat down and Kirsten gave her new husband a kiss on the cheek. The meals came out, the food was consumed, the music started, and so did the dancing. Kirsten and Sandy made their way out to the floor. He wrapped her small body in his arms and began swaying to the music.

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Soon, but not soon enough, the night was over. It was nearly three thirty in the morning and all of those attending had left. Sandy and Kirsten were the only ones left out there dancing. After two more songs by themselves, they too decided to call it a night.

The pair drove back to their small apartment, all the while Sandy speeding to hurry what he considered the inedible. He carried her over the threshold of both the doors of the apartment and of the bedroom. He gently set her down on the bed with a mischievous look in his eye. She only giggled at the man in half of a tux making suggestive actions towards her. She stood up off the bed and went to him, taking his face in her hands to stop the motions. They fell into the bed and she more that willingly helped him out of the rest of his tux.

He laid next to his new wife in their wedding bed, watching her sleep next to him, no different from any other night. He draped his arm over her waist, to which she responded by rolling over and placing her head on his chest.

"I love you Mrs. Cohen," he whispered into her hair.

"I love you too handsome."

_and, I'll play the clarinet _

_use clamshells for castanets _

_we play with our bags on our shoulders _

_my sweet lady lioness _

_and I watch as you sleep _

_so indelibly deep _

_an I hum to you sweet clementine _

What did you think? Was it good? Let me know! Review! The first in a series, so stay tuned for the next chapter!


	2. The Apology Song

Hi all…thanks so much for the reviews I got…it keeps me going knowing that people are going to be reading it. Well, one down, 11 to go!

**Disclaimer:** I still don't anything except the plot lines. Sorry!

**The Apology Song**

"5 Songs"

February 1997:

"Seth! Seth! Comere' quick!" A shrill voice called.

"What Mom? What could possibly be so import…oh my god! Where is it!"

There was an empty place in the row of surfboards on the back wall of the pool house.

_I'm really sorry, Steven, but your bicycle's been stolen._

_I was watching it for you 'til you came back in the fall._

_I guess I didn't do such a good job after all._

"This was one of his extra ones right? One he didn't care about?" came out of Kirsten's mouth frantically.

"Yeah Mom, if by extra you mean favorite and one he uses every day, that's the one."

"Oh my god…he's gonna kill me…" she murmured.

"Mom, you never know, he might take it better than you think he will."

"Are we talking about the same Sandy Cohen? The one that gets paranoid when _you_ get close to the boards, and you don't hate surfing. _I_ on the other hand, he will think that _I_ stole it to keep him from surfing." She was still talking incredibly fast.

"Well, maybe you can replace it."

"What?"

"Buy him a new one, you know. That way, if he does notice that it's not the right board, he'll at least know you didn't do it…or did you?"

"Seth…you know better than that…"

"I know, good mother, but if you are going to follow my advice, you had better hurry, he'll be home soon."

She looked at her son, who was calmly eating an apple, and then looked back inside, wondering where the phone book was.

_I was feeling really sorry, Steven, and I spent all morning grieving._

_And everybody's saying that you'll take the news gracefully. _

_Somehow, I don't think I'll be getting off that easily._

Kirsten poured through the yellow pages searching for a surf shop in the area. How hard could it be right, after all, this is Orange County. Finally, she stumbled upon a name that she had heard her husband mention before. Her nimble fingers dialed the number as fast as she could.

"Hello, yes, umm…I'm looking at purchasing a surfboard, today, soon, is do you guys have any?" Pause. "What do you mean not now?" Pause. "It's 4:45 in the afternoon." Pause. "Oh god….no, you don't understand, my husband's favorite board has been stolen and he's going to think _I_ did it!" Pause. "No I did not do it!" Pause. "Well, is there I can come in and…" Longer pause. "Well screw you too buddy!" She slammed the phone down to hear a car door close.

_I meant her no harm when I left her unlocked outside the Orange Street Food Farm._

_I was just running in, didn't think I'd be that long. _

_I came back, she was gone and all that was there was some bored old dog, leashed up to the place where your bicycle had been. _

_I guess we'll never see poor Madelline again. _

"Hate to ditch you in a moment of crisis mother, but I'm outta here for this," Seth spoke as making his way to his room.

Kirsten glared at her only son.

Sandy walked in the door to see his wife scowling at their son.

"Now what did he do?"

"He disappeared on me," she said hinting at the double meaning and loud enough for Seth to hear.

"Well honey, I hate to tell you, but I think I'm going to disappear on you too. There are some huge waves coming in in about 10 minutes and I've got to get there to catch them," he said heading to the pool house.

"No!" she exclaimed catching up to him.

"What?"

She quickly realized what she had done, and she had to distract him.

"Sandy," she drawled walking over to him and slowly undoing his tie. "Don't you want to stay home with me?" She had his tie off and was centimeters away from his face.

He moaned. "Hold this thought for about two hours."

Panic. "I…I don't think I can wait that long." Lie.

He moaned again, contemplating. "Do it for me honey…two hours, I promise."

He snaked out of her arms and turned around and walked to the kitchen towards the pool house. He could see the space.

"Kirsten…"

"I'm so sorry honey. It was gone when I came home. I swear on everything holy that I did nothing to it."

_Let this be consolation, Steven, that all the while you were in England, I treated her with care and respect and gave her lots of love, and I was usually pretty good 'bout locking her up._

_Where has she gone? _

_Well, I bet she's on the bottom of the French Town Pond, rudely abused on some hasher's joy ride._

_So I wrote you this song in the hopes that you'd forgive me even though it was wrong, being so careless with a thing so great and taking your poor Madeline away._

She was fearful by this time, afraid of what he was going to do. He walked over and placed his arms around her neck.

"You swear to your god that you had nothing to do with this?"

She meekly nodded.

"Well, then I forgive you," he said, leaning in to kiss her.

"I'm so sorry Sandy," she whispered while closing the distance between them.

"That's okay," he kissed her. "I was thinking about selling that one anyways."


	3. Los Angeles, I'm Yours

Again, thanks to all that have reviewed. I'm going to try to do these all in 12 days, so hopefully I can get them up quick!

**Disclaimer:** Still nothing but the plots…sigh

**Los Angeles, I'm Yours**

"Her Majesty"

March 2003:

Ryan sat at the kitchen table after dinner finishing up on some homework. He had his trig done along with his English, but now was working on an assignment he deemed "stupid". Seth gloated happily near the other boy "I'm really glad I don't have that assignment. I know I wouldn't want to hear that." The Atwood glare was his response.

"What wouldn't you want to hear Seth?" Sandy walked into the kitchen.

"About Ryan's assignment. You know what, Ryan, I hate to hinder your educational experience, so I'll leave you two to be."

"Oh," Sandy said sitting down at the table next to Ryan. "What's your assignment? Maybe I can help."

Ryan looked at Sandy and sighed in defeat.

"Well, for my interpersonal relationships class, we're supposed to ask a parent about how they met their significant other, and, I guess, that's you, I guess."

Sandy looked quizzically at the boy.

"Now I know why Seth left."

"You gonna help me?" Ryan asked, trying to get the awkward-ness over as quick as possible.

"Sure…I guess that we met like 20 years ago…actually it was 20 years ago this month…"

**Flashback: March 1983:**

Sandy did not like supporting the athletic teams in Berkley, or any team for that matter, besides the Mets. In fact, he made every effort he could to avoid all but the select few baseball games a year. Some how, this football game had slipped through. He was there watching Berkley get pounded by USC and watching some buddies get wasted.

"Sandy!" one of them yelled standing right next to him. "Why don't you have a drink? Com'on buddy!"

Sandy looked at his inebriated friend and decided to pass.

"Nick, you're going to need a ride home so I'm gonna pass on the drink."

"Good idea! Say, do you know whe…."

His friend has passed out on his shoulder.

'This is why I don't like sporting events.'

"SANDY!" another friend yelled. "Check out that broad at 11 o'clock, she's hot!"

Sandy turned to look and could see what his pal meant. This girl was beautiful. Long blonde hair, small body, deep blue eyes, everything…and she was walking towards him.

_There is a city by the sea _

_A gentle company _

_I don't suppose you want to._

_And as it tells its sorry tale _

_In harrowing detail _

_Its hollowness will haunt you._

"Hey there," the girl said.

"Hey," was all he could manage back.

"Sorry about Nick, I can take him if you want."

"No, he's fine." Couldn't be farther from the truth.

"Are you sure?" She was twisting her hair around her fingers.

"Yeah."

"Okay…." She said and walked away.

Sandy mentally kicked himself. He let the gorgeous girl get away. He didn't know her name. He needed to know her name.

_Orphans and oligarchs it hears _

_A plaintive melody _

_Truncated symphony _

_An ocean's garbled vomit on the shore, _

_Los Angeles, I'm yours._

The next few days Sandy thought of nothing but the girl. He was even considering going back to the football game.

'Maybe she goes to USC though? No, she knew Nick. But what if she's not there? Then I'll be without the girl at a football game…something I really don't want…Maybe I'll just ask Nick about her. She obviously knows him.'

That's what he decided. He would just ask Nick…and made it a high priority to do it the next time he saw him.

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A few days later Sandy and Nick had their next class together. The met up with each other walking into the room like they do every Tuesday. Sandy had to talk to him.

"Hey Nick," he started. "Do you remember that USC game that you made me go to?"

"Ummm…not too much of it…I passed out after the first quarter."

"Yeah, I know. But there was this girl that knew you and asked if you were okay. Do you know her?"

"Man, I didn't see her, I was passed out." Duh.

"Well, she was blonde, taller, blue eyes, kinda a small body…"

"Dude," Nick started. "You just described every girl in Orange County."

"So you don't know her name?"

"Well, the only one I can think of off the top of my head that would ask if I was okay passed out would be Kirsten Nichol. That fits her description."

"Kristen Nichol. Nichol…where have I heard that name before," Sandy pondered out loud.

_Oh ladies, pleasant and demure _

_Sallow-cheeked and sure _

_I can see your undies _

_And all the boys you drag about _

_An empty fellow found _

_From Saturdays to Mondays_

"Her father. Caleb Nichol. He's pretty much the king of Orange County. Or owns most of it anyways. There are several suits in our books about him."

_You hill and valley crowd _

_Hanging your trousers down at heel _

_This is the realest thing _

_As ancient choirs sing _

_A dozen blushing cherubs wheel above _

_Los Angeles I love._

It hit Sandy. The girl he was in like with was a spoiled rich girl from the OC, just like a female version of Nick. He needed a cigarette, or a bong, whichever was closer.

_Oh what a rush of wry belan_

_Languor on divans _

_Dalliant and dainty _

_But oh, the smell of burnt cocaine _

_The dolor and decay _

_It only makes me cranky _

Sandy managed to get through his law class without much upheaval. He stayed relatively calm given the news that he just received. Normally, he wouldn't have even thought of going for a girl like that, but for some reason she was different. He needed more of her. He needed to know her.

_Oh great calamity, _

_Ditch of iniquity and tears _

_How I abhor this place _

_Its sweet and bitter taste _

_Has left me wretched, retching on all fours _

_Los Angeles, I'm yours_

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Ryan sat wrting down as many things as he could while Sandy spoke. That would be good enough for his paper.

"So that's how you met? You didn't even get her name from her or her number or anything?"

"Don't doubt the method, kid. Look where it got me," he said with a smile.

Ryan just looked at Sandy. "I think I have what I need. I'll come as more questions if I need anything."

Ryan walked towards the pool house to start on his paper while Sandy made his way to the living room to Kirsten. He sat down beside her.

"Hey." Kiss. Not just on the cheek. A real kiss.

"What's gotten into you?" Kirsten asked.

"I just told Ryan the story of how we met."

"The real story, or the one that I found you passed out and later found out stoned at that football game?"

"The football game. But he thinks it was Nick, and let's keep it that way."

So what do you think? That was number three! Keep reviewing!


	4. Red Right Ankle

I know I said I wanted to do this all in consecutive days, but some things came up…my family showed up unexpected on Thursday night, leaving me to baby sit four kids under seven, and when they did leave on Sunday, I got the flu. Sorry. But I PROMISE I'll try to be better!

**Disclaimer:** I am the proud owner of a Seth Cohen poster above my bed…that's it.

Red Right Ankle 

"Her Majesty"

April 2005:

Kirsten sat on her bed, head in her hands, crying.

"Oh honey," Sandy walked over. "It wasn't your fault."

Kirsten looked up at him, red eyed and puffy. "I still should have never said any of those things to him."

Sandy sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She put her head on his shoulder and kept crying. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to comfort her. She looked up at him; he wiped the tears off her face and kissed where they had been.

"You know, I think that I may have started this years ago."

"Kirsten, you didn't do anything!"

"I married you."

_this is the story of your red right ankle  
__and how it came to meet your leg  
__and how the muscle bone and sinews tangled  
__and how the skin was softly shed _

"Oh don't start that…"

"He hated you. With a passion."

"I know, but you're worth whatever he said or did to me. And there's nothing you can do now, because you're stuck with me."

_and how it whispered 'oh, adhere to me  
__for we are bound my symmetry  
__and whatever differences our lives have been  
__we together make a limb'  
__this is the story of your red right ankle_

Kirsten got up from the bed, thinking. "I remember when my Grandpa died, it was the saddest day of my life back then, and my dad wasn't even there."

Sandy followed right behind her. "You're not going to be alone through this. I'm here, the boys are here, hell, even Julie Cooper is here."

"You're right. I mean, I'm not going to be alone."

"Yeah, and think of it this way, now he's going to be with the one woman he really ever did love besides his daughters…"

_this is the story of your gypsy uncle  
__you never knew cause he was dead  
__and how his face was carved an ripped with wrinkles  
__in the picture in your head _

Kirsten sat back down on the bed again, on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean it like that. You know how much I loved your mother."

"I know…"

"And you know how much he loved your mother…"

"He did a good job proving that through an affair…"

_and remember how you found the key  
__to his hide-out in the pyrenees  
__but you wanted to keep his secret safe  
__so you threw the key away  
__this is the story of your gypsy uncle_

He wrapped his arms around her small frame again. "Honey, it's all in the past. Just like Jimmy Cooper."

She laughed a bit. "I know, my dad really did love Jimmy Cooper. I think if he had the chance, he would have married him."

Sandy smiled. "There was a lot of love there for two straight men…"

"Don't start with that theory again. We both know it's wrong."

_this is the story of the boys who loved you  
__who love you now and loved you then  
__and some were sweet and some were cold and snuffed you  
__and some just layed around in bed _

Sandy smiled. "Do you think it's any coincidence that he married Julie? Add two and two together honey…"

"My dad was not gay, Sandy."

"He could have been with him on the day that he stood you up…good think I was there…"

_and some they crumbled you straight to your knees  
__did it cruel, did it tenderly  
__some they crawled their way into your heart  
__to rend your ventricles apart  
__this is the story of the boys who loved you _

He bent down and kissed her neck, her ear, making his way around to her mouth.

"Sandy…"

He grunted at bit, continuing to kiss his way down her neck again. He laid her back on their bed, still kissing her and hovering above her. He made his was around to her ear.

"Just think of how angry he would get if he found out that we were doing this, rather than sitting up crying…" he whispered.

She smiled at him. "Hell, lets piss the old man off…"

Sandy smiled at devilish grin. "I'll do anything for you, especially now in your time of need…" he said between kissing down her neck and chest.

"Anything…?"

_this is the story of your red right ankle_

Like I said…I'm sorry about not updating sooner. If you like it, please review!


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